More Devotion, Greater Challenges

I have to admit that the past few weeks was tiring for me. But it's ok if it's for God..I am just asking for an extra strength to fulfill all His task that He assigned to me. Practice for the upcoming worship concert. This is a collaboration of all churches in Albay and Legaspi. It was a privilege for us and a great challenge to balnce everything...work, ministry, and God. I have less time in comprehensive Bible reading nowadays. But I still have prayer and devotion. I wasn't able to pass my journal as our requirement in shepherd's meeting. But I wasn't able to write because I don't want to push myself because it is a requirement. Besides, my blog is always updated because it serves as my online journal. Yup, I'm already a part of it. It's a privilege but it's not really big deal on my part. I will serve God will all my heart regardless of my position in the church.

God is my focus and an intimate relationship with Him. as what He has always said in Matthew 6:33, seek Him first and everything will be added to me. I know He is beautifying me inside. This is the only thing that concerns me and everything will just follow.

I am still dealing with the fear of rejection but it's alright. God loves me just as I am. I wouldn't ask my fellow Christian to love me. I don't need that. I please God and not men.

I will expect more challenges coming from the Lord the more I spend time with Him. I need to be busier seeking Him rather than doing something for His kingdom. I need to check that I am connected with Him and don't neglect the king.

Greater Opportunities from God

I want to b His servant... His disciple..But i know it will cost me everything. I am starting to build my prayer life and devotion.I see to it that I will pray and at the same time will have a quiet time for Him. I long to be consistent for this. Last night after singing few songs for Him, i fall into a deep sleep.

I can feel this fire that consumes me. I just want to sing songs for Him as I gaze at His beauty. It feels good to serenade the King. But most of all, I feel so blessed knowing that I am making Him happy on my own simple ways.

There are so many opportunities God is sending me..opportunity to learn and grow..opportunity to strengthen my faith... opportunity to draw closer to Him...opportunity to know Him more... i wanna make sure that I grab all of them...I want to take good care of those blessings that He has entrusted me.

I know these opportunities, whether big or small will play a greater impact on my character as a Christian and a servant of God.. Right now, our church is blessed to be included as one of the worship team for a big concert this coming September. It will be an additional time and additional task but we will do this for the glory of God...

FREEDOM from the CHAINS of the PAST

-----tHE only tHing that will quaLify you to BecoMe sPiriTuaL lEadeR is tHe fAcT tHat yOu tHink yoU arE noT qUaLifiEd-----

-----God won't Care how maNy tImeS yoU FaLL bUt hOw mAnY tImeS yOu RiSE!!!--------

We were tackling the dark side of leadership on Bible school. I came to know the famous leaders, both secular and spiritual that they have dark pasts..they are all full of imperfections yet they surpass their weaknesses. all of us are dealing with it and nobody is excempted.

I easily discredit the thought of becoming a leader....i don't want commitments and responsibilities... but most of all, i am afraid i might fail again...i am even doubtful about the trust of other people...it is me who was the very first to doubt my capability... i've dealt with a lot of frustrations and disappointments in the past because of these failures..




but last night, I was deliberately enlightened and felt a sense of inner peace in my heart...we all have freedom to choose... PAIN IS PAIN, BUT SUFFERING IS A CHOICE...PAIN IS A FRIEND, IT'S GOD'S DESIGN TO MOLD OUR CHARACTERS... But our choices are crucial...choosing to become BETTER OR BITTER...A VICTOR OR A VICTIM....

PAIN and FAILURES are simply our stepping stones to success..when the DUST OF LIFE is approaching, we just need to shake it off...

It's indeed a challenge for me..God will help me to deal my past and use them for His glory..I am now confident,,,i'm not qualified to becomne a leader in the eyes of the people...but God will enable me...

God Deals the Ghost of My Past

Learning is an easy part of life's daily challenges. It's easy to memorize and remember what you have learned. But the most challenging part is to put them into practice. The Lord revealed me that it will cost me my prayer life I am really determined to walk on His ways. He showed me all the things that I need to fix in my life... the very first major issue that i will have struggle to overcome is the dire burdens of my past...

I thought I was able to forgive, I thought I am ok and doing well.. But deep in my heart is a swelling wound that refused to be healed... every time i remember those persons who have hurt me on the past, my heart is screaming in paranoiac boiling fury... i know it was wrong.. but God's grace and revealed it to me so I can deal with it.. it was continuously bruised and broken by the same situation yet different persons...



For the past few years I faced the cruel ways of rejection from my own family, some of my peers way back in my college life, my exboyfriend and his mother... I came to accept the fact that no one will ever learn to love me. THEY HATE ME! that's all i know. So what? I am soooo tired pleasing them hoping that they will know the good side of me. to no avail! i always end up being rejected, ignored, and condemned. all the more i discovered that I was badly beaten, broken, and torn apart. My soul was paralyzed in deep hurt and numbness.

I still experience them even I belong now to a Christian community. and im just used to the old systems-- i've handled rejections again, adjusting to the people who never liked me. This time, God taught me a new approach. He taught me to respond in a positive way. It's really hurting to be rebuked and corrected and it's even more hurting to be judged for who you are not...

God is teaching me how to be strong, to struggle for Him, because He is with me on every battle I am facing right now. I have my greatest armor now: His LOVE... i can come to Him no matter how many times I failed. I know when everybody hates me, Someone is loving me and accepting me unconditionally. God is just asking me to trust Him and draw closer to Him.

When I prayed last night, I came to Him wounded but He reminded me that i was healed through His wounds.

I can't explain nor describe the value of grace and forgiveness God has given me. It's one of the greatest experesion of His love. He will be there, and He will let me win on my battle.

Spiritual Discipline

I realize that it's impossible for me to become a mature Christian unless i practice spiritual discipline. Our ultimate goal as a Christian is to be like Christ. And all of us are on this process. This is out topic in Bible School. and spiritual discipline includes prayer and fasting, spiritual study, meditation, and worship. Without these four, it will all become futile.

I believe that our motive will matter...it must be our desire to know Him more and become closer to Him everyday. If this is not our intention, our walk to spiritual discipline (SD) is dime aimless and fruitless.

Our character is the main reason why we are pursuing SD. It's a crucial step to imitate the image of Christ..it's a continous process. It needs labor and hardwork, diligence, perseverance and consistency.

ASIDE FROM THESE THEORY AND KNOWLEDGE, YOU WILL HAVE A DEEP UNDERSTANDING OF WHAT IS SPIRITUAL DISCIPLINE IF YOU OUT IT INTO PRACTICE. sEveral adjustments will need to be made so you can become an effective servant of the Lord. I myself will consider a baby in faith. and i have to admit that I am just starting...i know thta God will continously renew everyday as I get to know His godly character..

Bible School Learnings Continued

I had a great weekend I spend with my family. But I was torn between my pursue with the Lord and purse with my professional career. My faith was being tested with the current situation of my family. They badly needed my support and my job here isn't enough to finance them.

I had a dear sister, my classmate in Bible school, I poured out everything to her, all the pressures, anxieties, and frustrations I've felt. She said that it's a test of faith. Yeeeeee.... and the best thing that I need to do is trust Him. It's easier said than done. I can say I trust the Lord but my spirit will convict me of the truth. I'm on the tough situation. But I know I need to lay down my burdens to Him...

My mission is still on hold... YET i believe i just need to wait for his signals..it's time for fishing...but i was waiting for the confirmation. I learned from the Bible School that I need to wait and don't push... This is the testtimony about the test of my faith to God.

It's far beyond my comprehension. But God is the only person whom I can trust. and this is the best thing that I can do. I know someday, when this test is over, I am a different person God has designed me to be...