Dependence on God in Wilderness

It's been few months since I left my comfort zone in hometown. Unfortunately, I need to leave everything including my work, my friends and students, my family, and the children ministry that I started. I am not worried if I go to Manila. But deep in my heart I keep on asking God why do I have to leave this early? Am not yet finished with my bible school and my post graduate education. I have a little children ministry to lead in Baao and I need to guide the students that I lead to Christ.

 I was left in complete bewilderment. I lost my job and my family did suffer from the upsurge of financial crisis. We almost go for hunger strike because we're on a tedious shoe-string budget. We all experienced eating once a day and I declare that will be the last time we will experience this kind of suffering.
I was so fortunate enough that I was able to go here in Manila. I never know what future lies here but I trust that God will never leave me alone and that He will supply all my needs according to His glorious richness.

After few months, God  provided me a job that allows me to support myself, my family, as well as the church that I belong to. Then I left my job because it's compromising my health.

Yeah I know, that somewhere in the middle, I keep on running the race with a cloud of doubt inside my head. Where am i going? I wonder if God know what He is doing in my life. I was left in the battle unguarded and unarmed because I refuse to use my weapons to fight. I felt like I was a boat without a sailor in a wide stormy ocean. I was baffled with my frustrations and disappointments in my life. It seems I was trapped and there's no way I can find my way out.

I may be in a wilderness right now. I may not be able to know what's going to happen with me in Manila. But I know that I have a Mighty God whom I can trust with all my heart. I may not be able to figure out what's the purpose why is He allowing this to happen in my life. But I know later it's gonna make sense. The only thing i know right now is that, I can depend on God in times like this.

He is the only refuge I have. There's nothing else that matters to me except to be with Him. To be dependent on Him every single day of my life. I know that God wants me to trust Him in times like this... No worries because I know that in His time, He will make all things beautiful.

Running the Race with Perseverance

The life of Christ’s servant will never be the same since you accepted the challenge of responding to the Great Commission. How I wish I can just go back to where I was before, where I am just a baby, waiting to be fed everyday. However, this is no longer the case.  I received Christ three years ago through my friend i met in our former company. Since then, my life is never the same before.  This page is not enough to elaborate the efforts of His love and grace showered upon me.

Now, it’s my time to return the favor. This is just the result of my salvation in Christ. Sharing the gospel and responding to the Great Commission. When we’re pressed down with problems and all hell breaks loose, we might lose balance and keep out of His track.

It is easy to praise God when we are happy. It is easy to thank Him when blessings are pouring in our laps. It is easy to serve Him when there are no obstacles and difficulties. It is easy to cling on to His word when the provisions are abundant. It is easy to stay in faith with a fine weather. And it is more motivating to share the love of the Lord if you have more people to listen to you.

It’s pretty normal when more people will refuse your invitation. But I don’t know I am still feel frustrated when they decline. There are so many obstacles are are trying to hinder my way. How will I try to share the gospel when people are more focused on other stuff.... Today, it is a challenge for every Christian to deal with distractions such as media, technology, even work and education. True enough.

I am not saying education and work are bad but they are often used as Satan’s tactic to draw us away from hearing the gospel. In spite of these difficulties, God is teaching me to run the race with perseverance. I have my personal inner struggles too and I have to admit it’s causing trouble for me. Yet it is a calling for me to keep on moving, to persevere no matter how difficult it is for me.

Remember, Jesus Christ is the author and finisher of our faith (Hebrews 12:2). He will brought His workmanship to a completion if we don’t get tired and grow weary. (Philippians 1:6, Galatians 10:6)...

It's all About Love, Love, Love!!!!

I am happy and quite satisfied with the student's evaluation..It's more than I ever expected though I know I have so many things to work in my attitude.. I don't mean to brag but teaching is my natural skill.. It's inculcated in every fiber of my veins and there's no left to blame but my gene pool. Oh yeah! I wonder how many times I read the term, "the best" and it's really a good boost on my esteem.

Yet deep down inside of me, Someone is whispering, reminding me that I should learn how to love... Being a teacher is not easy. It will really demand your time and dedication. There are times I am teaching for the sake of my work, forgetting what I am here for. I thank the grace of God for reminding me again about love... The performance evaluation is no more than a piece of paper if I don't have passion for teaching. And worst, if I don't have love for my students.

Love is my fuel to keep things going when the going gets tough. Love is the pumping blood when stress saps my whole strength. It is the only thing that gives me reason not to quit.

My Heart's Cry for Love

There are life circumstances that might overwhelm us--- leaving us bitter, confused, and disappointed. But this is the right time I need to trust God... There are things that I need to end and let go, knowing that it's not meant for you... If God will take a look of my heart, it's marred with wounds and scars. Only the alchemy of grace and love can heal this and stop it from hurting.

I felt neglected and rejected... I felt I am not accepted for who I am...Yeah I am badly broken but this hurt reminds me that I should learn how to put love into practice... Paul stresses in 1 Corinthians 13:1-7 the characteristics of love. And if I fail in some aspects, my love is not yet fully developed. I realize that nothing harder to do than to show my love in times of my brokenness. I need to show my love to other people by showing I care for them. I need to forgive those people who don't care to hurt me. I need to accept them in their weaknesses.

Maybe I badly need some love. But no!  I need to show my love to other people. God showed His genuine love for me. How come I can't show it? It's not only about me, me, and me... It's about others. But I don't think I can make it without God's healing embrace. His grace is enough for me to love others in spite of my down moments...

God-size Dreams Inside Me

Many times I prayed to God to make me productive and fruitful in His vineyard. But I realized that it takes to step on my faith everyday to make my dreams come to pass everyday. God has promised everything in His word. All I need to do is to believe and claim His promises. Most of the time, I was hindered by my doubt and fear, thinking of my weaknesses and inadequacies. Deep inside I felt so insecure-- neglecting that the Spirit of God is living in me.

God promised me His word

1 John 5:4 For whatsoever is born of God overcometh the world: and this is the victory that overcometh the world, even our faith

.... Claiming God's word is more than just believing it.. I have to boldly climb on my faith.. I have to act now make God's dreams a reality. I need to press forward and refuse to be defeated by my fear and doubts. I believe that God has stored the promise of victory in me. I need to keep believing, keep pressing on, keep hoping, and keep holding on to His word.

My God in Times of Trouble

The Psalmist said in Psalm 46 that God is his refuge in times of trouble--- whether it's in relationship, health, financial turmoil, and unavoidable economic upsurge. God is the only One who will never fail us when we reach for help from Him. All we need to do is to acknowledge that we are helpless before Him.

I can't count how many times I've failed in the race of life. Without God's grace and hope living in me, I think I am simply living a meaningless life-- void and empty. I'm gonna shut my heart from hurting because it is marred with scars of pain and disappointments. But God is with me-- and living in me. Greater is He that's living in me than he that's in this world! I am hurting now..and I am tired with the hardball and difficulties life is throwing at me now.. Yet this is the point in my life where I need to put my trust in Him. I am not aware about His purpose but He is always good. I know someday, everything's gonna be alright. Everything will fall into proper places in the right time.

God is our refuge and strength,
   an ever-present help in trouble.
² Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
   and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
³ though its waters roar and foam
   and the mountains quake with their surging.^[c]
 4 There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
   the holy place where the Most High dwells.
⁵ God is within her, she will not fall;
   God will help her at break of day.
⁶ Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall;
   he lifts his voice, the earth melts.
 ⁷ The LORD Almighty is with us;
   the God of Jacob is our fortress.
 ⁸ Come and see what the LORD has done,
   the desolations he has brought on the earth.
⁹ He makes wars cease
   to the ends of the earth.
He breaks the bow and shatters the spear;
   he burns the shields^[d] with fire.
¹⁰ He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;
   I will be exalted among the nations,
   I will be exalted in the earth.”
 ¹¹ The LORD Almighty is with us;
   the God of Jacob is our fortress.

God said to me, "be still, for I am your God"...
God didn't owe any explanation to me... Life circumstances are quite unnerving sometimes.. Yet it is a challenge for every Christians to hang on to God's promises. He will surely deliver us in times of our trouble.  Yes, I am in pain..
My heart is stabbed with a double-edged knife but I will remain faithful to Him. I will be still, knowing that my God is a God who is in control of everything.

God's Strength To Let Things Go

I just want to thank God in everything. I cling to His promise on Romans 8:28 that all things work together for good to those who obey Him. God asks me to do what seems to be impossible and difficult to do. But when I trust Him and relinquish the need to control it, I felt a sense of peace. I can let go of everything as long as He's with me...

There are things that we think we need. But in the eyes of God, it's not what you really need at all. I prayed to GOD that I need to let it go but I can't. And I realize that I am capable of doing it using His strength. My desire did not appeal to God so I asked Him to take this away from me. Believe me, it shattered my heart into bits of pieces. But He made me realize that it is just Him whom I really need.

He had a purpose. Things seemed to be as clear as mud but I trust His purpose. I trust His ways. And what is important to me right now is the courage I have to obey Him no matter how difficult it is.

I just can't stop praising Him for the strength He provides. The circumstances allowed me to be hurt and broken but I am rejoicing because with His grace, I was able to stretch my faith once again. I said to Him, I can let go of everything just for you. If there are things I still need to surrender, I know He will help me. Right now, I was really grateful for having God in my life.. What can I possibly do without Him? The tough situation allows me not only to stretch my faith but to experience more of Him, to know Him, and to draw closer to Him....